


Just to Be

by moonshineglories



Series: The Scottish Safehouse | JonMartin [1]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Music, Piano, Set in Episodes 159-160 | Scottish Safehouse Period (The Magnus Archives)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:33:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27240520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonshineglories/pseuds/moonshineglories
Summary: The piano in the attic.//or//Jon feels too greatly.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Series: The Scottish Safehouse | JonMartin [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1989568
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	Just to Be

Jon found the piano in the rickety attic, where the wind blowed through holes in the windowsill and a low whistling was ever-present.

He’s taken to cataloguing the house — traversed every closet and cupboard three-fold until Martin finally relented.

The ladder was unsteady, bent slightly with the weight of age. When he stumbled slightly on the third step to the top where the wood split, he grasped the rail, digging splinters into his palm.

It was dusty and a chill washed over Jon the moment he stood in the attic. The roof was lower than he had expected, a few inches above his head. Martin would have to crouch if he ever came up.

There were boxes of old books and blankets, tossed down into the hallway below for Jon to sort though later.

Jon found the piano in the rickety attic where he wiped dust off of its keys and cobwebs from the strings. It was the color of blackberries, deep and fresh when he took a rag to the paint.

In one of the boxes, he had recovered sheet music. Classics — Bach, Tchaikovsky, Beethoven — and a heavily annotated learner’s book.

Holding it felt like he was back in the Archives. Faded yellow highlighter marked instructions and pen scratched out parts where new sections had been inserted in scratchy handwriting.

So Jon began to learn. It was slow coming — notes at first and how to hold his hands. Then he learned simple melodies and children’s songs.

He played often, but when fatigue took root and his hands began to ache, he traversed the stairs again. Surely, should he hurt himself, Martin would do everything in his power to stop him from going into the attic.

And so, when he began to play, he found that it was not a talent that name naturally to him. Not that he expected it to.

Vaguely, Jon can remember his grandmother paying for piano lessons when he was younger — when she still had hope that she could make him into some prodigy.

The memory made him angry and his playing was a flurry. Prelude in C Major far too fast and played too harshly. It sounded awful with his fingers slamming down the keys so hard that they were desolate in the body of the piano.

Even when the sound came out strangled and violent, Jon felt a relief he had never before found. 

When Martin asked why he played so aggressively, Jon realized he was angry a lot. He was furious about so much.

His grandmother and mother and father abandoning him, a Sasha he couldn’t remember, Tim who couldn’t be bothered to care. Elias.

He hadn’t been able to do anything. He couldn’t yell at them. They didn’t deserve that. There were no apologies or arguments or misplaced regret.

Martin was sad often, in that dull way that kicked at the Lonely like a puppy fascinated with something it had never before seen.

Jon couldn’t be sad - not without the anger that he was causing a fit when he was still there.

His playing hardly got better. It was still harsh and violent.

But he didn’t play to make music. He didn’t play well. He played to be angry.

And sometimes, when the night settled between his ribs and Martin joined him in the attic and a chip of warm tea sat on the shelf next to him, the melodies would be softer.

The keys would warm at his fingertips.

And the world warranted a moment for him to not be angry or sad. 

Just to be.


End file.
